Why do two people facing the same type of situation react so differently?
One doesn’t know what to do and falls into a deep depression, while the other ploughs through with determination and comes out bruised, but hopeful, on the other side.
Why the difference?
There are many factors at play, but a big one has to do with the resilience of the individual. What is resilience and how do you help children develop it? Check it out!
Resilience: An Attribute
What is resilience? It’s the character attribute that has to do with how well an individual reacts to troublesome situations.
Resilient people tend to maintain a more positive attitude and bounce back from a harsh blow more quickly.
How to Develop Resilience
So why are some people more resilient than others? Where does this attribute come from?
Just as with other character qualities, some people are born more resilient than others. However, just because a child is born with less resilience doesn’t mean they can’t become more resilient as they grow.
A child’s environment, including family, friends, and life experiences can help them develop more. You can also purposely help your child become more resilient by understanding a few of the factors that help build resilience.
Loving Relationship
Building resilience in children starts with at least one strong relationship with a parent, caregiver, or another adult. In fact, this appears to be the main factor in helping a child become more resilient.
Strong Traditions
Another common factor among resilient children is having strong traditions to cling to. This could be through faith, such as a church or religion, or through cultural heritage.
Independence
Kids who are encouraged to be autonomous and take responsibility for themselves also tend to be more resilient. Even small things make a difference. For example, picking out their own clothes as small children or being responsible for keeping their bed made or room clean as they grow older.
Model Resilience
An excellent way for kids to learn resilience is to see resilience in adults who are close to them. Work on developing resilience in yourself and your kids will naturally develop more resilience as well.
Manage Emotions
Part of being resilient is understanding, expressing, and managing your emotions well. We all know that small children have a really hard time with this. But as they grow, they will learn to better manage their emotions.
Again, much of this comes from the people around them. If there are adults in their lives who demonstrate how to handle big emotions well, they will have an easier time learning how to do this themselves.
Becoming Resilient Adults
Life can really take a lot out of you. Sometimes the curveballs it throws seem impossible to dodge or overcome.
Being resilient doesn’t mean you or your child won’t have dark moments. Everybody faces challenging circumstances. But it does mean that you’ll have the tools you need to come out strong on the other side.